So how did I get here?

I’m not exactly sure when I became so disorganized, but it’s been a long time.  Come to think of it, it might go all the way back to childhood.  For the most part there are two times in my life where being this way really stand out.  Although there are others I remember and probably more I’ve forgotten.  I’ve always cleaned up my place on occasion and if I know someone is coming over I’ll clean up well enough to make it look like it is regularly cleaned.  This usually involves stuffing things in every closet and drawer I can put anything into.

I always think of Pulp Fiction when Winston Wolfe shows up at Jimmy’s house to help clean up Marvin from the back seat of Jules’ car after Vincent accidentally shot him in the face.  He tells them how to clean out the car, but that it doesn’t have to be spic n’ span, “you don’t have to eat off of it” he says.  And how they are going to camouflage the inside of the car with blankets so if a cop stops them the subterfuge won’t last, but at a glance the car will appear to be normal.  That’s pretty much how I see it.  At work when telling employees to clean up I always use some variation of the lines from that scene.  Yeah I manage people and part of the job involves making sure the work area is clean at all times.  I always think that if I were paid to keep my house clean I’d keep it clean.

The two most memorable times I think of when it comes to my disorganization involved women of coarse. The first one I had been dating for a while and had known her for a few years at that point.  I hadn’t seen her in a few days, I think we may have gotten into an argument and stayed away from each other.  I was lounging around one afternoon when someone knocked on the door, I looked out the peephole and there she was.  I actually felt panicked; I couldn’t possibly clean up a mess that was days in the making in a matter of seconds. I couldn’t even walk a straight line to the door so there was no way I was going to let her see it. She knew I was home, but finally gave up and left.  That pretty much was the end of that relationship, there was other stuff, but that didn’t help.  She had come over often, but this time she caught me off guard.  Had she called ahead of time and let me know she was on here over I might have had a chance at making it look clean.  Then again maybe if I wasn’t so damn disorganized and messy it wouldn’t have mattered.

Anyway thinking back it’s unbelievable how much of a mess I made in just a few days while she was not around.  To this day I’m still very capable of doing that, I’m a pro at it.  Unfortunately the other time that comes to mind I can’t go into detail about, but I really wish my house hadn’t been a complete mess that day.  That time it was pretty bad come to think of it.  It’s a pretty funny story actually, maybe one day I can revisit that one.  Living with someone has definitely been a challenge too, keeping the place clean has always been a debate in those situations.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like you walk into the place and have to step over stuff that is 3 feet deep.  It just gets messy fast and I let it go until I have no choice but to clean it up. This can happen within a day or so, it doesn’t take weeks. The quick cleans have created another problem, which is trying to find something when I need it.  I put things everywhere and it can be next to impossible to find it later.  It can take days to find something if I ever do and I end up making a mess in the process.  It’s like Groundhog Day it just keeps happening over and over.  Then if I don’t find something I need, I end up buying another one even though I know I have it somewhere.

I think it’s time I improve on this and stay consistent at it going forward.  So my plan is to get rid of as much stuff as I can in the process making it easier to keep things in order.  I’m not sure if I want to call it being a minimalist, but it definitely seems to be the direction I need to head in.